When I barge into English on early mornings, he’s usually sitting behind his desk, busy with papers that need to be read with scrutiny. I’m not a big talker so the first thing I say is, “hey, could you read this?” And he always does.
I look for signs of approval on his face. I look for a smile or a simple nod. I just need one sign, a sign that will tell me I wrote well, or that I did a good job. I need approval; I need to regain my confidence. If people don’t remind me that I can write, I find myself in doubt. Then I begin digging and searching for some sort of compliment.
We all want to belong. Maybe you want to belong to a club or an organization. Maybe you want to belong to a sisterhood or a sports team. No matter where it is, we all want to be accepted somewhere, don’t we?
I want to be accepted by other writers. I want to be accepted by a reader who won’t be bored by what he reads.
What’s going to make him want to read the words I write? What’s going to make him care for what I feel, how I live my life, how I see things, what I hate or what I like? What’s going to make him re-read the sentence he just read a second ago?
I fear everyday that I don’t write. I fear and I want to scream and I want to close my eyes and…
I leave English class, smiling inside. But I’ll be coming back, soon…
Comments (2)
Just don't forget your most important critic...the mirror. When you're able to pick out your own mistakes and fix them, you'll be close to being a writer.
I know everything I write sucks in all respects, anectdotal, grammar, sometimes spelling and often in fact, but some people smile because of it. I smile outwardly because they are and so should you! Now I have to explain to my grandma how I forgot her birthday...not a good end to the day even though she'll make me smile after I apologize with no good excuse other than I had other things on my mind...oops...laughing at King of Queens...
cheers,
Dick
Posted by hairofthedawg | May 3, 2006 12:11 PM
Posted on May 3, 2006 12:11
Hello Bluebird,
I am Senthan, working as a Journalist in Sri Lanka. I first came across your blog in January 2004. During that time I was searching Iranian blogs for writing an article on Iranian Blogs.
In deed, I am very much impressed by your writings. It is true that I don’t regularly log into your blog. But, whenever I get time or whenever my mind recalls your blog I log into. It is your awesome writing that makes me to do so. I enjoy it very much. You have developed yourself excellence in creative writing. There is no doubt that you are a well accepted and extra ordinary young writer showing talent beyond the expectation. Wish you all the bests.
Posted by senthan | May 10, 2006 1:21 AM
Posted on May 10, 2006 01:21