This is my first time using this weblog, I will try to write good things in here.

This Summer was the greatest Summer for me. I got to visit my sister and my two brothers. My parents and I live in Virginia,my oldest brother lives in Europe and my sister and my other brother live in Iran. After 3 years I got to see them,though my oldest brother visited us once last year. It was a good trip. First we went to Turkey,since they couldn't get a visa for Europe. We stayed there for 2 weeks and got to visit alot of places. It was like a dream and it went by fast. Then we went to Europe to see my oldest brother. I am still there,though my parents left yesterday.
Every minute is a treasure because it might not be repeated again!

I was in Prague for a week. It was fun being in a different place,somewhere where you are not already known,somewhere where you are free from people who know you.
I feel the same in Belgium,where i am right now. It's a good feeling.

You might feel sad at first
You might want to cry
You might imagine a ring on your phone
You might want to scream from lonliness
You might feel afraid
You might feel as though there is no one left
You might forget the ones that are there
You might shut them out
You might forget your time and be in the past
You might search for the pieces of the puzzel you call life

Sometimes I feel like a bird in a cage which is not locked. I feel as though the door is open for me to do something,but for reasons I can't move, i am stock.
Sometimes I feel like a bird not in a cage but one who does not know it's way. Right?left?
Though the cage is never locked for me,it is always open. Only I have to make the effort to get out and find my way.

When you look into a mirror,what do you see?
I see me
Do you like what you see?
yes, i like what i see
Do you ever wish to change what you see?
No, i like what i see
So when you look into a mirror,you like what you see and you don't want to change what you see?
Right

When you're in the mood to do something,you do it. Maybe you feel like singing or dancing. You might feel like reading a book or watching a movie. You might want to see a scary movie or a funny movie.There are times though that you are not in the mood to do anything. And that will leave you bored,perhaps all day. I feel the same,sometimes there is music but i don't feel like dancing. Sometimes there are so many things i can do but i just sit there and tell myself there is nothing to do!

When i play the violin it gives me a good feeling. It makes me feel free like i am somewhere else,though that somewhere is where i want to be, like a happy place or a happy event that is happening. When there is new pieces of music it is more fun. You can sit there for hours and play and hope for others to hear you and say"my gosh,you're good".
I owe a great deal of thank yous to my orchestra teacher.

3 more days till i leave Belgium.It's not very exciting to count the days you have left when you're in vacation. Specially when you are visiting your family. It is exciting to count the days before you can go to your vacation but not when you're coming back. Well, it's always like this. First you are so excited to go,you pack your things,you buy things and then you start counting the days. And then you are there and then you have to leave again. You say"it feels like i just came yesterday and now i have to leave"
Yep, time goes fast!

I stay on the couch and watch t.v! Or I go to my room,close the door and stay on my bed,if i am relly scared. But most of the time i watch t.v cause it helps!

I have to say good-bye to my brother
I have to say good-bye to the great people i have met
I have to say good-bye to a red house that i have been in for a month
I have to say good-bye to a country full of memories
I have to say good-bye and leave

Vacation is over and I'm back home. It feels weird,because I feel like a stranger. And the thing I hate the most is that now people know me again! When I was in Europe nobody knew me and it felt good. I guess that's just the way it is and I have to get used to it.

School starts on Monday. God I'm scared! I'm scared because the school is big and I am going to get lost,I don't know the teachers and I don't know who is going to be in my classes. Oh,I just wish it goes well.

I worry too much for everything. For school,mostly and for other things. It has been a habit for me all my life. And I know it will stay forever! I don't why I do that,I mean some people are so relaxed that you start worrying for them and some are like you who worry or worst.

A true discription of life by Matsin (some guy)

Life is a gamble,a journey,people either win or lose,life is like a prodigy that is endless. When someone's voice becomes weaker and slowly fades away,a newer and stronger voice takes the rest of the story and continues...

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad,but never forget to remember the things that made you glad!

Elbert Hubbard

It has been a couple of days that I have been paying attention to the sun and moon. Once the sun was so beautiful,it was an orange color. One other time it was yellow but you could see the lines of light in the sky. The moon was pretty too. It was so amazing!
(something like this picture but maybe not exactly,you get what I mean)

You know how sometimes you think you're completely out of hope and think that everything is going to be awful. Well I feel the same sometimes and it's not good. Yet I can rethink,think in a positive way and try to see things my way. Though it is not as easy as I think it is. But sometimes it works.

Yesterday I had a visit to Sixflags. It was awsome. I went to 6 rides and it was a lot of fun. The very first ride that I rode with my parents and my cousins was crazy!! It was a twisted roller coaster. Right from the begining it started with the fastest speed and turned us upside down and in all directions. I was so scared that I couldnot open my eyes at all ! I couldn't even scream! Man,it was a shock ride. The worst part was your head,cause it was hanging and you couldn't lift your head up. After we got out our heads and necks were hurting(well,atleast mine did) and it made my cousin and my mom not to ride anything else!! But all other rides were very good and we had a lot of fun. Make sure you go there if you haven't already.

I feel sad when it rains
I feel bored when it rains
I feel as though the whole world has changed
I hate it when it rains
I feel lonely and it's cloudy
It is dark outside when it's rainy
You can't go outside when it's rainy
If you walk,you get wet
If you go with your car
you feel sick
it's cloudy,it's rainy,it's dark and it's lonely
Like the sky is crying
You sit by the window and all you is droplets of water
It's rainy,it's cloudy,it's lonely and you feel the whole world has changed

Sunday is my least favorite day. One,it is a reminder of Monday,which means,school,work and less fun(sometimes). Two it is boring(for me) and three I don't feel like doing anything. This sunday though was a little better,because there is no school on Monday and because I will be going somewhere. But the point is to enjoy everyday,cause hey it's life and you've just got to live it!

As I look from the ship, all I see is water. Blue,shiny water that sparkles from the sun above. All around me is surrounded by water. There is nothing but water. It is the Sea of Marmareh in Turkey. I am sitting in a ship,with my family,looking beyond me and I'm seeing something that no one has ever seen before. I get this feeling inside me that I have never felt before. I cannot take my eyes off of it for one second. I keep on looking,the sea and the breez,the deep blue sea that is forever in rhythm.

I get really sad when I read or hear about the people in Palestine. Imagine how hard it is for them to live,they don't even have a normal life. There are millions of families without homes,foods,etc... . Babies who get shot,millions of people who die for their country that they can't have. Just terrible. We should feel lucky. So lucky! We have homes,jobs,food,a good education,a safe place and already we don't even appreciate that and we want more. It is just sad,simply sad.

Is probably the only place that I can see almost anyone I know. Family,friends,you name it. My room is full of pictures. It is a good way to remember your fun moments,your happiest days or your greatest advantures. When I walk into my room it's as if I have entered another world!

I can imagine so many things,things that will be kept forever and ever.By imagination one can change everything. Imagination has a lot of power, a strong deep power that will never last.It is true to say that it is a powerful tool in the toolbox of magic. You can have anything your heart desires by just imagining that you have it.Never forget that it might come true,your imagination,your wish. Simply keep it and don't loose it. And remember it cannot hurt you but it can heal your sense of pain,of loneliness,your fears and you sadness.

Why is it that whenever something bad happens we remember it?,though there are times when they are forgotten. It is as if they never completely leave our minds but hide somewhere and then one day come back again to our memories. I try to forget the bad things, I try to forget about the past and be in the present. Sometimes we are so involved of the things that had happened before that we don't even remember we are living in the present.

I ask a question but there is no answer
There is not an answer for every question is there?
That is why there are so many mysterys in our lives
Because not every question can be answered

I just talked to my cousin on the phone. Oh it's so nice to hear someone's voice after such a long time. I haven't seen her in 3 years.
I miss her very much,that's why a letter or a phone call from her makes me so happy!

The following words have been written by someone but I do not remember the name.I have translated his words from Farsi to English.
1
I love you not because of who you are but because of who you make me when i'm with you.
2
No one deserves your tears and whoever does will not make you cry.
3
If someone does not love you the way you want them to,it does not mean that they don't love you with all their heart.
4
A real friend is one who holds your hands but touches your heart.
5
The worst way of missing someone is being with them and knowing you cannot reach them.(become like them)
6
Never miss a smile,even if you are sad because someone might fall in love with your smile.
7
You could be only one person in the world,but for some you are the whole world.
8
Never spend your time with someone who does not want to spend time with you.
9
Maybe God wants you to meet a lot of wrong people and then the right person.So when you find that person you can be more thankful.
10
Do not be sad for things that are gone,smile to the things that will come.
11
There are always people who bother you,though trust others and becareful not to trust the ones that have bothered you.
12
Turn yourself into a better person and you can be sure that you will know yourself before you meet someone else. And that person will know you.
13
Don't put too much pressure on yourself, the best things happen when you are not expecting them.

I saw on the t.v screen the world trade center standing tall
A moment later I saw a plane coming by
It hit the building so suddenly,that i didnot have time to realize
At first i didn't get what happened
It was like a movie,a sight so amazing
Then I realized what was going on
I still couldnot believe my eyes
After everything became clear, it was so sad to think it through
The people in the plane,the ones inside the building...
It was a day no one will forget

I was staring at the clock almost the whole time in Chemistry class. Though it was not responding to my commands! My mind was on that clock.Which took a very small piece of the classroom but at the same time it was the most important thing in there,which made it look bigger. I was hoping it would move faster and faster but it was taking its time,laughing at me! It finally reached 2:05 and the bell rang.

When you feel afraid of your surroundings,your own thoughts,other's comments and thoughts,there is nothing left for you but despair.
You feel you want to be free from the words,you don't want to hear anything,see anything,know anything.Even your own thoughts and imaginations that lead you to despair. You are suddenly afraid of your own being,afraid of your every step,every word,every little movement.You think every person around you is watching you,you can't move,you feel like nothing. You are nothing to anyone,anything.But then a sudden spark comes to your brain and you are out of the nightmare.

If you ask me I would say that I love Iran. Because I was born and raised there,because it was where I took my first step,said the first word and saw life for the first time.My memories are hidden in every street and every corner. My laughter is recorded in our house. The sound of every step is recorded and I can hear it even now. Noises,the cars,the construction of a building right infront of us. I can close my eyes and see myself walking on that same street of ours,to the same door,to the same brown house with the basement. I can walk up those steps again,reach the first floor and knock on my uncle's door.Then I can walk to the second floor and then the third,ours. I can go in,there is a mirror right infront and a long carpet. I can call my sister and brother and they'll come.
I love Iran because it is where I first learned to see how life is,its steepness and its hills.How to live with others and not hate them because of their looks,try to be friendly even if dislike them. I saw life in a different way that it is now,I never imagined someday I would end up here. I never thought that one day I would have to leave everything behind. I never thought that I would pack everything and just go. I never thought of being miles and miles away. But now that I am here and now that I am ready to live here,I can go on, I have to go on.

Sometimes I am in a totally different place. I am lost in my own thoughts and for a second I feel like I am somewhere else. Has this ever happened to you? When you wish to be elsewhere and you keep thinking and thinking until you are lost! Or you look at a picture of your vacation and you want so much to be there.

Today is where you make a difference,today you do something that you might never do again. You might see something that you may never see again. Today is your day to change everything,to become someone you want to be,to see the world,experience,travel,whatever. Today you can start to love yourself and accept who you are. You can be as happy as you can be,because it might end soon and you won't have another chance. Today is special,because you're alive,you can breath and you can enjoy every moment,you have freedom when so many people don't,you have a better chance to live,where so many people don't,you can enjoy your surroundings,where so many people can't,you are special to someone,where so people aren't. Today can be the best day of your life,so make it one.

Does it ever end?
Does this world that we live in ever end?
The excitment,the action,the signs and attractions?
Does it ever end?
This game we play everyday, our life,does it end?
Does it matter if it ends,does it matter to us?
Does is all end together,without warning,without notice?
How does it end? Does it all disappear?
Where would we be when it ends? Would we even know when it ends?
Who cares if it ends? It's not today is it?

As the weather changes, my attitude seems to change along with it. When it rains,everything is a blur,the memories seem to go away.When it is fogy,I am in a dream on the road.When it rains a little,humdity,sticky, like today,I want to complain about everything and nag. Though it is a good difference because if it were to stay the same,it would not be enjoyable.

So that I would know that I have not wasted any of my time. So that each and every moment of this unknown period of time that we live each day can be remembered. So that I can think back everyday and say yesterday was the best day and today will be even better. So that when I am old, I would know that I have done things and I won't feel sorry that I am old. So that I can say I had the best life when I was young and I still do. So that I would never feel ashamed of not having done anything. So that when I am ready to leave, I would be proud.

Today I felt like doing more. Right now it 10:21 and I still don't want to sleep,but go somewhere,anywhere. Though I don't know where!
We are people who sleep early,my parents are already in bed but I don't want to go to bed. I went to Borders and when we were in the car I told my mom,lets go somewhere else now,but I didn't know where. Oh well ...

To be alive,to breath,to enjoy the warmth of sun and the cool breez of Autumn. To feel like being part of the world. Isn't it great?
Don't you think that by remembering the fact that you are alive everyday can help you be more excited to live. IT IS GREAT TO BE ALIVE!

The center of motion pictures and fake lives of actors. When we see them,we happen to think they are the best,the coolest or the prettiest people. They're cool,good-looking,famouse,rich,and so on. But is their lives like ours? Maybe a little but not exactly. It is rather fake, i'm not trying to be mean or anything but their lives is partly fake,they play the roles of ones who don't really exist. To them,it is achiving their goals but to us it is watching characters and wanting to be them. You hear stories on t.v,this actor did this,this one got married and had a huge,fancy wedding,this one is having a baby,this one got arrested and so on. To you is it a real life or just simply fake?

Keep on walking and don't stop until you reach your goal. Keep on walking and don't stop until you reach that door,the one that's open,the one you see and always go through. Keep on walking and don't stop until you see a mirror and find yourself in there. Keep on walking and don't stop until you are out of air,and certain that you have gone through every single door.

Oh it has it's own ways. You think you have the perfect friend,you think that you have finally found someone you can hangout with all the time,but people are not perfect. They can make mistakes,they can be the wrong people for you. You've got to choose right, be careful which road you are picking and which stop signs. Don't fool yourself and don't fool others and don't let them fool you.

Green represents peace,freedom,happiness,life,grace. It is a color of many flags,including Iran. As for personality green is for hard-working people.

I have seperate feelings for different places. When i am here, i feel free in some ways,i feel that every door is open though i must make the effort to move and go through each one. When i think about iran,when i was there,3 years ago. I think about how i used to feel,i can't remember exactly,now when i think about iran, it is just a deep sad feeling. Like a place i know so well but haven't been in a long time. I really want to go,really.

Babies are probably the ones who have the most freedom in this world. They don't have to think like we do,they don't have to be prepared for life,yet. Though it will be over very soon,that they won't even remember when they had that freedom. They are free from knowledge,and they are probably the only ones. Their world is completely different than ours. Everything that they get is prepared for them and they are free from the adult-world.

Does anyone even read this thing????
I wonder!
Well read it people!

You have probably heard the saying "laughter is a medicine to every pain",well I believe that it is true. When you laugh,you probably have a reason right? You don't just laugh,something makes you laugh. You might be happy,hyper,or just normal. But for a few seconds or a minute,you feel great,right? You forget about whatever pain you have,you forget about many things,you just laugh and at that moment you probably think only about the joke or whatever that made you laugh. It could be for a long time or just a few minutes,but no matter how long it is,you do forget the pain,trust me you do. Or atleast you are still enjoying yourself,maybe you have a very painful injury or sickness but laughter,even for a little while makes you feel something other than pain. Which I think is great! So laugh!

Is a tree with green and yellow leaves, it's autumn I think. It is cold,sunny though,the tree is half dark and half lit. I want to get out,I want go far beyond my window. Go forward,forward,forever until I am out of breath. I want to go far and see what's there. The window won't let me go that far away. It only makes me jealous of the beauty outside.I want to fly out of my window,and get out of this donjon.
I want to see the rest of God's creation, I want to take off my sunglasses and see the world with my own eyes. If only I could get rid of this window,if only I could.

7:00 Am,I woke up this morning.The first thing I saw,out side the window infront of me,was the morning sky. Oh,it was so beautiful,I wanted to take a picture. There were those long stretchy clouds and the bottom was an orange color which later turned to purple. A purple sky! Really I'm not kidding. Oh it was so amazing!

Life is full of unforgettable memories. Both the worst and the best are imprisoned by our powerful mind.They follow us like shadows and won't go away. Sometimes show themselves in our dreams in the strangest form. Wild and frightening they are at times.And ofcourse in our dreams there is no possible way to make them go away,God has made it that way. It is so real,almost hard to believe it's just a dream. And it only reveals itself when the mind is finally awake. It is strong enough to help us remember a faint of the dream.
"Dreams follow us like shadows in the darkness","Dreams are endless thoughts in a person's mind."

What ? Dreams?Work?Education?Fun?Ups and downs? Memories?Boredom?
Everything you can name. It is just the way it is and the way it will be forever,unless some day it all ends. Who knows if there is a day that it'll all end,who knows if we have to go on and on forever until our soul is in the heavens. Time is priceless.It is infinite,goes forever but flies fast.Therefore it is golden. Your minutes and seconds are what makes up your whole life. You could be dancing all night,or reading all day. Gossping for an hour or praying day by day. Watching t.v for two hours and not remembering a thing afterwards. Anything you do counts and makes up your life. You think you have a lot of time,but you really don't. Make something out of it then,do something so you can remember you did it. So you can use it for the future.Time is really running by.And life is full of it!

I have not written for quiet a long time. Well I was pretty busy with life,that's the only reason. Or there were times that I didn't feel like writing and nothing interesting came to my mind. But hopefully things will reach my mind again!

Sunday,sunny day, cool and windy

Today we had a visit to a park in Richmond. A nice place by the mountains. It was nice,though very windy. And cold,ofcourse. But the most important thing was the view.An amazing view I say,big mountains,lots of trees with red and yellow leaves. AWESOME!